Scientists prove nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer

After hundreds of independent studies, scientists at the University of Toronto have finally concluded that nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer.

The research, led by biologist Dr. Gianni Lucifero, showed that most people, when confronted with scientific evidence in the form of peer-reviewed research papers suggesting compounds found in cannabis have the potential to kill cancer cells in human patients, in addition to hundreds of testimonials from people confirming their first hand success with the medicine, still reject the premise outright

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Man never considered Bread For All Seasons* until now

TORONTO—The Toronto District School Board (TDSB) fall calendar is always highly anticipated.  But last week it served to change at least one man’s perspective.  Maybe even his life.

“I had never considered some of the potential jobs, hobbies and queries put forth in the 2014 fall calendar,” said insurance salesman Todd Birch. “This mailer is a revelation!”

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Mexican migrant workers help locals improve their English skills

Mexican migrant workers have long been valued in Southern Ontario for their durable bodies and strong work ethic, but now many of them have another valuable skill to offer – English tutoring. Many Mexican migrant workers are now tutoring local Canadian workers in reading and writing skills, as well as some basic math skills.

Although English is not their first language, the Mexicans say they were able to learn it quickly because of hard work and dedication, and they are confident the local workers can see similar results in their own capabilities if they apply themselves and work hard.

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Canada’s top Economics prof admits: “I don’t get it”

William Langille, one of Canada’s top Economics professors at the University of Toronto, has admitted that he doesn’t actually understand our economic system at all.

“I don’t get it,” he admitted, while giving a lecture at an economics conference at U of T.

“I admit it, I’ve been faking it this whole time. I started bullshitting about economics when I was young because I was too lazy to learn the hard sciences and I wanted a boat. Slowly, over time, I just started gaining respect and advancing in my career, and I guess I got addicted to the respect and money that came with the job. Eventually, I bullshitted so much I reached the top of my profession…

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