Canada Confuses Blue Bin and Garbage Day in Philippines

PHILIPPINES—Canada’s squeaky clean reputation is getting trashed overseas. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte has demanded that Canada remove its trash from his country or face the threat of war.

More than 100 shipping containers full of Canadian waste, including used diapers, have been sitting in a port near Manila for close to six years. Environmental Minister Catherine McKenna insisted the shipment was a mistake. “Anybody could have mixed up the labels for recycling and trash,” she said. “This garbage removal is totally on our to do list.”

Political analyst Susan King says the situation is turning rancid. “This dispute is akin to a parent who has asked a child to clean up their room repeatedly and has counted to four. Five is go time and someone is about to get spanked.”

The messy game of hot potato means that Canada needs to find a new foreign dump. “We are currently considering options,” said McKenna. “Our hope is to disappear this trash like so many Garfield novelty phones.”

The Canadian government remains optimistic that good will can be restored with the Southeast Asian country. Officials are now more concerned about the caravans full of immigrants sent to the US labelled “crude oil”.

Molly Donovan

Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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