No, not that Richard Hatch

LOS ANGELES—Richard Hatch has died.  No, not that Richard Hatch.

Based on viewer age and television preferences, there is some confusion as to which Richard Hatch is no longer living.  While some people are correctly mourning the passing of Battlestar Galactica’s Captain Apollo, others are wrongly grieving the death of the first winner of Survivor.

“When I heard that handsome young man Richard Hatch had died,” said 88-year-old Mabel Livingston, “I was just devastated!”  As a devoted fan of the 1970s tv series The Streets of San Francisco, Livingston recalls Hatch as being “no Michael Douglas, but still a very attractive gentleman.”

Richard Hatch, nominated for a Golden Globe in 1978 for his work on Battlestar Galactica, also appeared in a number of other television shows over his career.  Credits include All My Children, The Love Boat and Dynasty.  Hatch, 71, died on Tuesday after a battle with pancreatic cancer.

“That guy who was naked all the time?” asked Survivor enthusiast, Michelle Lupo.  “Was he still in jail for tax evasion when he died?” Lupo wrongly referred to Richard Hatch, winner of the first season of reality tv series Survivor, shot in Borneo in 2000.  Hatch was convicted in 2006 of attempting to evade taxes.

Richard Hatch, 56-year old reality television whore, lives on in Newport, Rhode Island.  Hatch has appeared in several iterations of Survivor, as well as Celebrity Apprentice and The Biggest Loser.

Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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