TORONTO — In an announcement today, Loblaws president Galen Weston has decided to embrace the growing criticism and public mockery of his company by launching a new line of products that humorously highlight the supermarket giant’s perceived disdain for its customers.

Following the viral success of a fake No Name “Let Them Eat Cake” cake ad, Weston announced a range of tongue-in-cheek items designed to poke fun at Loblaws’ reputation. These products include the “No Name Empty Jar,” touted as “perfect for storing your hopes and dreams,” and “President’s Choice CEO Cereal,” a box filled with “nothing but air and a free coupon for a lecture on fiscal responsibility.”

“We’ve heard the public’s outcry and decided to lean into it,” said Weston at a press conference, standing behind a display of “No Name Bread Crumbs—because that’s all you can afford now” and “PC brand Corporate Coffee—wake up and smell the inequality.”

The bold move is seen as an attempt to transform negative sentiment into brand engagement. “It’s about connecting with our customers on a deeper level,” Weston added, though his comments were met with skepticism from those gathered.

Critics argue that this stunt further exemplifies the disconnect between the company’s leadership and ordinary Canadians struggling with rising grocery prices. “It’s like they’re laughing in our faces,” said consumer advocate Sarah Thompson. “These ‘products’ are just salt in the wound for families finding it hard to put food on the table.”

Despite the backlash, Weston remains unfazed. “If you can’t beat the meme, become the meme,” he quipped, adjusting his designer suit.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

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