In yet another instance of social networking sites taking a toll on human life, Scott Thomas, a 27-year old student at the University of Regina, committed suicide last night after spending 8 futile hours trying to understand the latest update of Twitter’s app.
MONTREAL—Colin Clark, a 42 year old husband and father of three recently diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive English Speaking Disorder (OCESD), was rushed to the Montreal General Hospital suffering multiple injuries to his head, arm and ribcage. The incident occurred late in the night when a group of Parti Québécois supporters assaulted him for not using the national language of Quebec while ordering his drink at a local pub downtown.