VATICAN CITY—Frosty the Snowman is a fairy tale they say, but don’t tell that to the Roman Catholic Church. After decades of debate, the famed jolly, happy soul is not only accepted as canonical, but was officially declared divine by… Continue Reading
SPACE – The Whirlpool Galaxy (Messier 51a), a gravitationally bound system of billions of stars located approximately 15-35 million light-years from Earth, has filed a restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson. Tyson, an astrophysicist and science educator, has been embroiled in controversy… Continue Reading
Louis C.K. made a tentative return to masturbating in front of junior staff last night—asking some unknown comediennes to watch him masturbate in front of them at a small New York comedy club. The comedian, who stepped out of the… Continue Reading
WE-SWEAR-WE-ARE-NOT-MAKING-THIS-UP DEPT. Photo: Mohd Fahmi Mohd Azmi, flickr A man was detained in Bursa province in Turkey’s Marmara region for allegedly raping a duck, daily Habertürk reported. Police forces detained the man following complaints from his inlaws, who claimed he… Continue Reading
WAY DOWN IN LOUISIANA, Close to New Orleans—Mooseclean’s is shocked and saddened (and also sick and tired of starting articles with those five words) to learn that Chuck Berry has died. He was 90. Berry invented rock and roll, making the… Continue Reading
OTTAWA—Writers of parody news were saddened to learn this week that merely writing their stories in the clipped, authoritative style of the Associated Press does not make them funny.
BERKLEY, California—An event marking Indigenous People’s Day ended in tragedy after twenty-three people were infected with smallpox, killing at least five.
QUEBEC CITY—In an astounding turn of events today, the province of Quebec has formally announced that they are deferring their bid for sovereignty indefinitely amid concerns about increasing projected costs.
DUBLIN, Ireland—In a not particularly surprising move today, the government of Ireland has announced that it is considering legalizing moderately drunk driving for rural residents.