USA—Confederate monuments in the U.S. have become a hot button issue for “many sides”, as President Donald Trump would say. Some citizens see them as racist reminders of a shameful period, while others see them as important historical markers. This debate isn’t new, but it was reignited by the recent Unite the Right protest in Charlottesville, Virginia. What should become of the more than 700 tributes to Civil War that are sprinkled throughout the nation? Here are some ideas that would preserve the monuments, but in a new context.

  • Replace sit-on rides outside Walmarts. A quarter to ride a Civil War hero’s horse? Interactive history was never more affordable!
  • Terracotta Army type burial at Robert E. Lee’s grave-site. All those soldiers can give not just their lives, but also their afterlives to protect their General.
  • Seal them in a time capsule for 100 years. Perhaps when it’s opened, there will finally be a cure for racism.
  • Make them part of a scared straight program for those convicted of hate crimes.
  • Use them as props in a sequel to the movie Get Out.
  • Create a Civil War carousel at The Smithsonian National Museum of American History. Take a spin through the past while listening to the Fifes and Drums.
  • Implement a quid pro quo law where every statue of a Confederate is paired with a statue of a Civil Rights champion.
  • Round up all Robert E. Lee statues and monuments and surrender them to ancestors of Ulysses S. Grant.

By Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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