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Politics

Oops, He Did it Again

May 28, 2021Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

OTTAWA—Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, it’s a kink. Liberal MP William Amos has again been caught with his pants down. Last month, Amos appeared nude during a parliament virtual question period. Yesterday, there was an encore… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Politics, Sex

Embarrassment cited as cause of death in Robert Trump Death

August 16, 2020Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

He was known as the ‘younger’ Trump, the ‘quieter’ Trump, the ‘actually-not-an-asshole’ Trump, and the ‘surpisingly-not-bat-fucking-insane’ Trump. He was a patient supporter and eloquent defender of his elder brother, and in the end was able to accomplish a feat than… Continue Reading →

Panache, Politics, US Politics

Lisa MacLeod and the Tao of Crüe

January 18, 2019Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

Nepean MPP and Ontario Cabinet Minister Lisa MacLeod flaunted the depth of her philosophical acumen in a swipe at former Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne: While this could easily be written off as a feeble taunt, her invocation of 1990 glam… Continue Reading →

Canada, Music, Opinion, Politics, Sex

What’s Haunting Toronto this Halloween?

October 31, 2018Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

Toronto has some demons that need to be exorcised. This Halloween, let’s take a look at who and what is haunting the citizens of Ontario’s capital. Jian Gomeshi. Every time he tires to make a comeback, people relive the Q… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Holidays, Politics

Voters Re-elect Candidate for Umpteenth Term for Lack of Compelling Reason Not To

September 3, 2018Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

It is often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. South-end residents have done just that, electing Diana Dietrich to a seventh term as city councillor. While… Continue Reading →

Local, Panache, Politics

Angry Orange Volcano Named for Trump

May 23, 2018Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

Hawaii—With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have a relentless and all-consuming appetite. Locals have dubbed the monster Lua Pele Trump. “Everyone knows President Trump hates immigrants and… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Environment, Politics

Devil Delivers on Ford Family Deal with Election Win

March 15, 2018Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

MARKHAM, ONTARIO—Doug Ford is the new leader of the Ontario PC Party. The Devil has claimed responsibility. The election announcement was delayed more than seven hours after disputes with ballots. “I had a few issues to iron out,” said Satan.… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Politics

Patrick Brown is our Ex, and Ontario is Us

March 2, 2018Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

OTTAWA—“It’s not you, it’s me.” With those words, Patrick Brown broke up with Ontario AGAIN. Brown stepped down as Ontario PC Party leader January 24 after CTV reported that two women were accusing him of sexual misconduct. After three weeks… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Politics, Sex

Trump and Kim Jong-un Argue Over Remaining Horsemen of the Apocalypse

September 28, 2017Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

WORLD—After taunting each other publicly over North Korean missile tests, world leaders Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un have a new beef. They can’t agree who should sit astride the third and fourth horses of the Apocalypse. “Obviously,” said Mr. Trump,… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Politics

North Korean Officials Narrowly Avoid Tantrum with Nuclear Test

September 5, 2017Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

NORTH KOREA—Over the weekend, North Korea reported the successful testing of a hydrogen bomb and the equally successful avoidance of a Kin Jong-un super tantrum. “The Young General,” said a senior official on guarantee of anonymity, “has been very anxious… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Politics

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