Oops, He Did it Again
OTTAWA—Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, it’s a kink. Liberal MP William Amos has again been caught with his pants down. Last month, Amos appeared nude during…
Embarrassment cited as cause of death in Robert Trump Death
He was known as the ‘younger’ Trump, the ‘quieter’ Trump, the ‘actually-not-an-asshole’ Trump, and the ‘surpisingly-not-bat-fucking-insane’ Trump. He was a patient supporter and eloquent defender of his elder brother, and…
Lisa MacLeod and the Tao of Crüe
Nepean MPP and Ontario Cabinet Minister Lisa MacLeod flaunted the depth of her philosophical acumen in a swipe at former Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne: While this could easily be written…
What’s Haunting Toronto this Halloween?
Toronto has some demons that need to be exorcised. This Halloween, let’s take a look at who and what is haunting the citizens of Ontario’s capital.
Voters Re-elect Candidate for Umpteenth Term for Lack of Compelling Reason Not To
It is often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. South-end residents have done just that, electing…
Angry Orange Volcano Named for Trump
Hawaii—Unstable. Unpredictable. A wispy orange top. It practically named itself. With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have a…
Devil Delivers on Ford Family Deal with Election Win
MARKHAM, ONTARIO—Doug Ford is the new leader of the Ontario PC Party. The Devil has claimed responsibility. The election announcement was delayed more than seven hours after disputes with ballots.…
Patrick Brown is our Ex, and Ontario is Us
OTTAWA—“It’s not you, it’s me.” With those words, Patrick Brown broke up with Ontario AGAIN. Brown stepped down as Ontario PC Party leader January 24 after CTV reported that two…
Trump and Kim Jong-un Argue Over Remaining Horsemen of the Apocalypse
WORLD—After taunting each other publicly over North Korean missile tests, world leaders Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un have a new beef. They can’t agree who should sit astride the third…
North Korean Officials Narrowly Avoid Tantrum with Nuclear Test
NORTH KOREA—Over the weekend, North Korea reported the successful testing of a hydrogen bomb and the equally successful avoidance of a Kin Jong-un super tantrum. “The Young General,” said a…