TORONTO—Sports fans in Toronto are expected to turn out in droves today as the city celebrates NBA champions, the Toronto Raptors. Players will ride through the city in open-air double-decker buses with Drake acting as a live action hood ornament.
“I’m part of this team,” said an enthusiastic Drake. “As the official global ambassador of the Raptors, it’s fitting that I’m out there supporting my team in a visible way in OVO-branded gear.”
Campagne Papi watched the final game from his private couch on a custom-built stage at Jurassic Park. “I love being with Raptors fans. Those are my people. It was so great to look down and see everyone going wild and Mayor John Tory in his gold and black Raptors blazer.”
Some feel Drizzy has become too familiar with the team and overstepped the boundary between ambassador and player. “That’s ludicrious,” said Raptor president Masai Uijiri. “If he were actually on the team, he’d push us way over the salary cap.”
During the parade, Drake plans to throw bottles of his Mod Champagne to fans with his free hand. The other hand will be holding the Larry O’Brien NBA championship trophy. “It’s going to be a long ride on the front of that bus,” said the rapper. “I’m hoping Coach Nurse will return the favour and rub my shoulders when we get to Nathan Phillips Square.”
At a Raptors press conference, Finals MVP Kawhi Leonard was asked about Drake’s association with the team. “It’s fine. He’s good,” said Leonard. “At least it’s not Justin Bieber.”