Eldon “Bubba” Jenkins and James Robert “Jim Bob” Clark were waiting outside before the Walmart in Killeen, Texas opened on Monday.  Turns out the sale they were hoping for was already over.

“We heard that Walmart wasn’t going to sell AR-15s anymore so Jim Bob and I decided to get over here.  We heard two days ago that they was goin’ on deep discount but we didn’t suspect they’d go that quick!” said Eldon.

“Yeah,” interjected James. “Who woulda thought there’d be that many people who would want one.  I thought they said no one’s buyin’ them anymore.  Bubba and I just scraped up our last $100.00 to get one.  We can’t afford the $650 or more to get one at a  huntin’ store.”

“Shi-it,” said Eldon.  Now I’m gonna have to cut down on the weekend beers just to afford one from one of those fancy huntin’ stores.”

When asked what type of animals they shoot, particularly with this type of rifle, James excitedly responded, “Y’all name it!!  Coyotes for one.  I popped my AR hunting cherry on a coyote!  Bubba laughed.  “Oh, yeah, and prairie dogs.  Them critters is responsible for everything including the bubonic plague—but the bleedin’ heart Humane Society says different—as if they know.”

“Yeah,” said Bubba. “‘Specially deer.  Just too dang many times you find a deer with an arrow in it because the idiot hunter didn’t follow it to get it.  The AR gets a good clean shot and brings that baby down right away.”

“But what’s better is my Uncle Earl, he’s 80 now, he can use it even with his multiple shoulder surgeries,” added James. “Earl likes to shoot a .22 caliber AR because the recoil is low and he doesn’t have to work a bolt or a pump, which aggravates his injury.  He uses it to shoot rabbits, and squirrels out of his tomatoes. Earl comes with us sometime and he let us use his and we really like it, so that’s why we want one.”

“It’s getting harder and harder to get guns,” lamented Bubba.  “All them damn stupid liberals.  How guns is killin’ people.  Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.  If I put my gun on the pavement here and left it, it’s not going to just jump up and shoot ya, I’d have to pick it up and do that.  Damn liberals.  Well, Jim-Bob and I gotta get to work.  Hamburgers don’t make themselves!”

By Sharon Dunn

Political junkie, proud grad of UPEI, supporter of civil & human rights. Follow on Twitter @SharonDunn54

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