The news, improved.
JERUSALEM — In a spectacular display of modern warfare, Crime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has once again demonstrated his unwavering commitment to eradicating Hamas—regardless of the cost. The recent Israeli air…
LONDON—“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like having her face on a banknote!” said exuberant Jane Austen supporter, Anna Trontin. “I must learn to be content with being…
Following the release of Ubuntu 17.04 codenamed “Zesty Zapus”, Mark Shuttleworth announced revised plans for the upcoming 17.10 release due in October. The operating system’s originally planned designation “Amiable Airdale”…
WE-SWEAR-WE-ARE-NOT-MAKING-THIS-UP DEPT. A man was detained in Bursa province in Turkey’s Marmara region for allegedly raping a duck, daily Habertürk reported. Police forces detained the man following complaints from his…
SKARDU, Pakistan—In a world demoralized by an economy in freefall, an unexpected casualty has occurred.
The creator of “Leaders Number One”, a fragrance inspired by Vladimir Putin, has announced that additional scents inspired by the Russian president are already under development.
Despite a record effort to wipe themselves out–including a Guinness Book attempt by religious group Iglesia ni Cristo to launch more than 700,000 fireworks–the Filipino New Year death and injury…
Eldon “Bubba” Jenkins and James Robert “Jim Bob” Clark were waiting outside before the Walmart in Killeen, Texas opened on Monday. Turns out the sale they were hoping for was…
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Local podcast host Tom Doory is arguing that the discovery of Osama Bin Laden’s bookshelf is a blatant lie, and that the government may have covered up actually finding…
For most of his life, Dick Perkins has lived in the public eye, or at least under those eyes still learning to read. “I didn't have a normal childhood. How…