March Madness leads to April Apathy

U.S.A.—Sports enthusiasts who have been losing their shit over college basketball during the month of March will soon be faced with nothing to live for.

Kentucky superfan Corb Bunsen talked to Mooseclean’s about coming to terms with the end of the NCAA season. “I plan my vacation around the tournament every year. When April comes, I feel like I did every September as a kid.”

The UK Wildcats were knocked out by North Carolina in the Regional Finals on March 26. “If my team wins, I can at least ride that high into May,” said Bunsen. “Right now, all I’m left with is ten extra pounds from a month of drinking beer and eating chicken wings.”

As Bunsen pulled the blackout curtains off his front window and folded his Wildcats banners away, he sighed heavily. “In April, I have no excuse to drink a six pack on a Thursday night. Or spend an entire Sunday afternoon on the couch watching tv.”

Bunsen conceded the only thing that could make April bearable would be to see North Carolina humiliated in the semis or lose in the finals. “Otherwise, I have nothing to look forward to. Plus, my basketball-crazy boss will go back to ignoring me and she’ll no longer let report deadlines slide.”

Molly Donovan

Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don’t hold that against me because I’m also Canadian.

Just think of me as the mole.

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