Playboy self-castrates

If you want to see a traditional centerfold, buy a Playboy magazine in the next few months.  After March 2016, the publication will still showcase women in provocative poses, but they will no longer be fully nude.  Reaction to the change in format has been mixed.

“So Playboy will become Maxim?” asked local construction worker, Barney Evans.  “Kinda takes the thrill out of buying a girlie mag.”

After 62 years of revealing photos, the men’s publication says it can’t compete with free, explicit online images.  “If you want to see a star in the buff, you just go online,” said Playboy art director, Harry Upton.  “Nobody is gonna wait for the magazine to come out and then pay six bucks when they can see a Bear Claw online for nothing.”

Long-time fans of the magazine have theories about what the next five months will bring.  “I’m hoping to see our very own Pamela Anderson make one more appearance,” said Vancouver shoe salesman, Todd Lipton.  “Or maybe a younger version of Anderson.”

TMZ correspondent Amy Blank thinks the magazine will go for one big get before putting the robe back on.  “I think they’ll pull out all the stops and open the checkbook to get someone like Taylor Swift.  Or maybe they’ll nab Elle Fanning who turns 18 just in time for the last issue.”

Whether you enjoy the journalism or are illiterate, there’s no denying the appeal of the magazine will be decidedly different.  Even Hugh Hefner will have to start reading Playboy for the articles.

Photo: Matthew Hurst (CC BY-SA-2.0)

Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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