TORONTO-Over the weekend, would-be new chief of the OPP Ron Taverner turned down his appointment and embraced his true calling. In the new year, Taverner will be pursuing the role of Kenickie Murdoch in Geriatric Grease.

“Honestly, it’s a relief,” Taverner told Mooseclean’s. “I love policing, but I also love the stage. I was made for this role.”

At 72, Taverner is nicely positioned to assume the coveted casting. “Ron’s a cop,” said Geriatric Grease director Alan Smalls. “He can still step-ball-change with performers half his age. I think he’ll literally dance circles around the other senior citizens.”

With reboots and remakes all the rage, this production has its sights set squarely on older theatre-goers. “We’ll be performing all matinees,” confirmed Smalls.

Taverner is excited to be in the spotlight. “Policing was my first career,” he said. “Now I’m ready to embark on my second career. It’s Taverner’s time to shine.”

Today, Premier Doug Ford announced that the PC government is taking over casting in the province of Ontario. Ford says this move will save Ontarians millions of dollars and has nothing to do with his buddy’s aspirations.

By Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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