TORONTO-Over the weekend, would-be new chief of the OPP Ron Taverner turned down his appointment and embraced his true calling. In the new year, Taverner will be pursuing the role of Kenickie Murdoch in Geriatric Grease. “Honestly, it’s a relief,”… Continue Reading
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA—Despite their obsession with remaining steadfastly within the public eye, the Kardashians have been remarkably evasive when confronted with rumours that the family originates from impoverished ancestry. Now, after an exhaustive search spanning over ten years and many thousands… Continue Reading
TORONTO—The 2017 Scotiabank Giller Prize finalists were announced October 2 to a crowd of 15 gathered outside CBC headquarters. The group included 10 journalists, four tourists and a homeless man. “This is so exciting!” said Stockholm resident, Lucas Nilsson. “We… Continue Reading
ALABAMA—After escaping sexual assault charges in a trial that resulted in a hung jury, Bill Cosby is ready to educate the masses. “I thought to myself, how can I monetize my exploitation of women?” said Cosby. “And with the help… Continue Reading
WAY DOWN IN LOUISIANA, Close to New Orleans—Mooseclean’s is shocked and saddened (and also sick and tired of starting articles with those five words) to learn that Chuck Berry has died. He was 90. Berry invented rock and roll, making the… Continue Reading
LOS ANGELES—Richard Hatch has died. No, not that Richard Hatch. Based on viewer age and television preferences, there is some confusion as to which Richard Hatch is no longer living. While some people are correctly mourning the passing of Battlestar… Continue Reading
Photo credit: Winnipeg Blue Bombers (CC BY 2.0) TORONTO—On November 27th, the 104th Grey Cup will be played at Toronto’s BMO Field. Here’s a game day primer for those of you who aren’t CFL fans.
U.S.A.—Since August, sightings of creepy clowns or “killer clowns” have been reported across the U.S., Canada and even in the U.K. Now, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is reporting that Donald Trump has been identified as the… Continue Reading
Photo: Alex Guibord, flickr (CC BY 2.0) Despite a recent warning from Canada’s toke-friendly prime minister that marijuana will continue to be illegal in this country until a strong regulatory framework is created, pot users and dealers nationwide are declining… Continue Reading
Photo: Vladimir Pustovit (CC BY-2.0) The acquittal of media personality and hate-fucker Jian Ghomeshi on all counts of sexual assault and choking is being celebrated nationwide today.