Duffy, Ford considering charity wrestling to improve images
OTTAWA—Reports are surfacing that in an attempt to mutually boost their tarnished images, ex-Tory Mike Duffy and Toronto Mayor Rob Ford are in talks to wrestle at a public fundraiser…
Veganism as environmentally harmful as meat production, scientists prove
KEMPTVILLE, Ontario—Farting and belching by vegans is a key contributor to global warming problems, extinction of earth species, and a worldwide suicide epidemic involving Angus Beef cattle suffering from feelings…
Litterasee is on deekline, expurtz say
ODDAWA—Akording 2 a survay conduckted by the Ontaireeoh Ministree uv Edyookayshun, Ingglish litter a see among collige gradyooits has deeklined dramaticklee in the past 10 yeers. Onlee 31 per sent…
Nut shortages, clearcutting causing unrest: squirrel race war imminent
VANCOUVER—The clear-cutting of vast numbers of oaks and other trees for the manufacture of beverage coasters, gear shift knobs, gourmet toothpicks, and other products vital to the stability of the…