Carolers Accuse “Baby it’s Cold Outside” of Sexual Misconduct

TORONTO—A group of carolers is accusing the classic holiday song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” of sexual misconduct. Inspired by the #MeToo movement, the singers say the time has come to retire the predatory tune.

“The male voice in the song is harassing the hell out of the female voice,” said caroler Carol Shanty. “She’s trying to leave and he persists in forcefully trying to convince her to stay. I’ve sung that date rape anthem for the last time!”

Written in 1944 by Frank Loesser, the song was featured in the movie Neptune’s Daughter in 1949. One scene has Ricardo Montalban chasing Esther Williams around the room, repeatedly removing her coat and hat while she tries to exit.

“Just listen to the lyrics!” insisted caroler Bella Calias. “Say what’s in this drink? If that’s not a roofie reference, I don’t know what is.”

The group, which had been rehearsing for their Christmas Eve Performance Do You Hear What I Hear? A Not-so-Silent Night, is made up of both men and women. All but one of the women is now refusing to sing the song. “Martinique is our hold out,” explained caroler Debbie Tascot. “But what do you expect? Her husband tried to grab my ass at the Christmas party last year. Said he slipped in some punch.”

The men of the choir refused individual comment, instead making a group statement: “Given the current social atmosphere, we feel it’s best to refrain from calling this an overreaction and will stick to performing less controversial songs.”

Caroler Amy Sing responded to the statement by saying, “If the men of this choir feel comfortable countering The answer is no with Baby it’s cold outside, then they remain part of the problem. The next time Tom tells me my singing is sharp, maybe I’ll just tell him it’s cold outside because that seems to excuse any indiscretion.”

The group is also dropping lesser known holiday songs “Meet Me in My Hotel Room”, “Your Massage is My Present” and “Bend Over and Say Santah”.

Molly Donovan

Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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