Men reminded to plan now for post-holiday estrangement


Photo: Wonderlane (CC BY 2.0)

It’s that time of year again: a time of warmth and togetherness and giving and good cheer—or so the media would have you believe.

But for those of us living in reality, we know it’s a time of stress and anxiety… of disappointment, disillusionment and depression. It’s a time of living far beyond our means, or, alternately, not buying the things we wish we could because we’re already too far in debt.

It’s a time of expensive Christmas parties spent with family or work colleagues we don’t like, followed by expensive New Year’s Eve parties with disgruntled spouses, or disappointed significant others, or complete strangers. All this is followed, of course, by the inevitable arrival of credit card bills and another few kilometers travelled down the road to complete financial ruin.

At this time it is customary of Mooseclean’s to remind our male readers to plan for January trial separations and eventual divorce proceedings.

It’s cold, it’s a terrible time of year to move, but admit it now… you know perfectly well you’ll never make it to Valentine’s Day. And even a garden full of flowers couldn’t save you now.

Avoid establishing any new relationships, even with a Realtor. You know well enough you’re not ready for that kind of commitment. Instead, keep your options open. Do some preliminary research on web-based real estate listings. Keep a price point firmly in mind, along with openness to the options that fall within this range. Ted Kaczynski-style one room shacks can be helped enormously with just a bit of personal décor and signature furniture. If you still have those beer posters and the worn La-Z-Boy, it’s time to grab them out of self-storage. You won’t be able to afford that monthly bill much longer anyway.

We hope this message has reached you in time. Good luck, and best wishes for a reasonably bright future ahead.

Sebastian Panache

Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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