Detroit launches Kickstarter campaign to build new city

In the aftermath of declaring bankruptcy, the city of Detroit has turned to popular fundraising site Kickstarter to crowd source its next attempt at building a major metropolis.

“We’re starting from scratch, so anything goes.” says Detroit Mayor Dave Bing, who has set the minimum funding goal at $18 Billion. “We’re talkin’ a water slide based public transit system, buildings made of trampolines, and every day is Taco Tuesday in New Detroit!”

The campaign started out soft, but interest quickly rose with the Mayor’s promise of an all-Robocop police force. “Look, we all know that movie was Detroit’s #1 export, so y’all get an army of RoboCops policing the city, and we get to save money because we’re almost sure that cyborgs aren’t entitled to a pension.”

With the funds now steadily pouring in, New Detroit is poised to become the greatest city on Earth, with the campaign’s top backer set to take his throne as Supreme Emperor.

Jay Milley

Jay Milley

Lives in Toronto. Rugged indoorsman. Great with power cords.
Follow on Twitter @jaymilley

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