Report: Courtroom sketch artist tripping balls

Credit: Jane Rosenberg

NEW YORK—According to a shocking report, the sketch artist at Tom Brady’s coutroom hearing was apparently “tripping balls.”

“At least he wasn’t inflating them,” encouraged NFL Commissioner/square Roger Goodell.

This was one of the first portraits for aspiring courtroom artist Randall Winston, who had recently graduated from 2 tabs of acid, to 3.

The sketch, titled: “Fear and Loathing in the Courtroom”, has garnered much critique, but the judge explained that he had to hire someone impartial, “who knew nothing about football…or eye contact.”

When asked his opinion on the trial, artist Randall Winston argued that Brady’s suspension “should be reduced from 4 dimensions to 2.”

Surprisingly, Winston was the only one in the courtroom whose piss Goodell had yet to test.

As of press time, there had yet to be any settlement in the artist’s hallucinations.

Matt Colella

Canadian comedy writer / comedian canady writer. Hit me up at or 9055188685. Check out my Podcast "What You Sayin?", on iTunes. Check out my sketch comedy group, The Happy Elevator: Youtube:

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