The news, improved.
WASHINGTON—Earlier today, 20 year old Jeff Ranson expressed his desire for real change by voting for Hawaiian pizza over Pepperoni. “Some say voting doesn’t matter,” admitted Jeff. “But people in…
Earlier today Hurricane Miranda announced that it will be transitioning, and now wants to be called Matthew.
FERGUSON, MO- In response to the growing surge in civilian deaths, police have began a manhunt for their missing integrity.
BRANTFORD, ON—Local parents were outraged after finding slips of paper containing harsh facts of life amongst their children’s Halloween candy.
NEW YORK—According to a shocking report, the sketch artist at Tom Brady’s coutroom hearing was apparently “tripping balls.”
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Local podcast host Tom Doory is arguing that the discovery of Osama Bin Laden’s bookshelf is a blatant lie, and that the government may have covered up actually finding…
The Toronto Maple Leafs today announced that Mike Babcock will become the 30th Head Coach in team history. “Mike will take this team where it hasn’t been since 1967—the fairway,”…
A therapist is urging 28-year-old fan Trish Kelsey to sever all ties with her favourite sports team, whose perennial losing ways have become abusive.
A Hamilton man is claiming the extremely harsh winter is a result of his prayers for God to help him with small talk.
NEW YORK—In a partially historic move, Ireland is set to recognize the Palestinian state at a house party, yet declines to say 'hello'.