Photo: Drew Coffman, flickr.

Confident in the belief that no one will care—or even notice—given his relative obscurity and the short attention span of the public at large, “Russell L.” [not his real name] frequently resubmits variations of his previous stories.

“Ever heard of that expression, everything old is news again? [sic] Well, it’s true. My career was builded [sic] on that,” Russell explained.

Like any journalist, Mr. L. is expected to deliver a certain number of stories per week, but even covering the news can be difficult when laziness or boredom sets in.

“I got tired writing the same kind of material every week, so I started changing names and dates and minor details in old stories. Nobody complainted, [sic]” Levy added. “My Editor is too bogged down in fixing my atrotchous [sic] grammar to notice that what I handed him yesterday is nearly the same thing I handed him in 2012 and 2009.”

After being paid by Mooseclean’s for the rights to this exclusive story, Mr. L. confessed that he’d already given similar “exclusive” interviews to competing news organizations in 2014, 2011, 2008, 2004, 1999, 1995 and 1991.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: