The news, improved.
Stories written by Sebastian Panache
Editor-in-Chief
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MONTREAL — In a surprising twist to Canadian politics, Thomas Mulcair’s beard, once a defining feature of the former New Democratic Party leader, has announced its availability to any politician…
TORONTO — Yes, Toronto. In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered expectations, a new franchise of discount senior retirement homes, aptly named “Forget-Me-Not Homes,” has launched with a…
NEW YORK — FOX News, the renowned bastion of conservative viewpoints, unintentionally met their “fair and balance” reporting standard after what insiders are calling a “clerical error” left the network’s…
OXFORD, England — In an unexpected and theatrical twist befitting the Bard himself, a direct descendant of William Shakespeare has made headlines by physically confronting the CEO of Oxford University…
TRURO, Nova Scotia (AP) — The tranquil town of Truro was thrown into disarray last Sunday when baby Olivia Thompson, just six months old, staged a dramatic protest during her…
TIMMINS, Ontario — In a small but proud moment for the local literary scene, Timmins resident Brian Patterson has published a coffee table book that has garnered both curiosity and…
WADEBRIDGE, CORNWALL, ENGLAND — Andrew Ridgeley, the often overlooked half of the iconic 1980s pop duo Wham!, is hitting the road solo in a bold bid to remind the world…
OTTAWA — In a recent announcement that has left the public gasping for breath, the Government of Canada has issued a dire warning about the dangers of untaxed cigarettes. According…
EDMONTON — In what some are calling a “national crisis in vertical mobility,” a new study has found that stalled escalators causes thousands of unsuspecting citizens each year to remain…
ATLANTA — In a groundbreaking study that has both amused and alarmed the scientific community, researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have concluded that the antivax…