Thousands of Jian Ghomeshi “jilted ex-lovers” emerge to pledge undying support


Photo: Brenda Lee, flickr.

After being fired by the CBC for alleged acts of non-consensual rough sex with an ex-girlfriend, a flood of similar ex-lovers have now come out in support of the beleaguered former public broadcaster.

“I just wanted to go on the record by saying that Jian treated me like a cheap, filthy whore with my full consent,” said Valerie Figueroa. “In fact, he’d still be choking me unconscious in between violently percussive pelvic thrusts to my throat if I hadn’t done the unthinkable and completely ruined everything by turning 30.”

Figueroa, 33, was one of several thousand women who assembled in front of the CBC Monday, interfering with studio Q traffic by erecting a 12-person love-swing in front of the main entrance.

“Mmmph mphm mphml mmmblbph mphbl mmm,” said another woman, from inside her black leatherette and vinyl hood & muzzle set.

We couldn’t agree more. Sick ’em, Jian!

Sebastian Panache

Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

Leave a Reply