Beginning February 9, Walmart customers noticed a 5 cent per bag fee added to their “low, low prices” and many are not happy.

“I am not happy,” Leona Jennings complained. “I depended on those free bags for packing my kids’ lunches, garbage bags, auto-erotic asphyxiation… literally a hundred household uses. Thanks Walmart.”

The company had explained its decision as part of a strategy to reduce the volume of plastic ending up in landfills, but many are unconvinced.

“I am unconvinced,” said David L. Stearns. “Since when was Walmart about the saving the planet? It’s always about the bottom line—their bottom line. Give me my free bags back, you bastards. Or at least quit pretending.”

Retail analyst Stephen Douglas, who originally characterized the move as a “monumental branding decision” for Walmart, has now recanted.

“There is no question they really misjudged their customer base,” he told us. “They are a cheap brand for cheap people.”

Thank goodness for retail analysts.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

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