Nerds Invade Yukon for Permafrost Thaw
In a world where a frozen wasteland is the new last-chance-to-see tourist hotspot, scientists and engineers are flocking to the Yukon to witness the majestic thawing of permafrost. Who needs…
Diners Demand a Return to Meat-Based Meat
CANADA—The new wave of plant-based meat is not everyone’s cup of chili. Across the nation, diners are demanding a return to meat-based meat. “I was at a barbeque last weekend…
Canada Confuses Blue Bin and Garbage Day in Philippines
PHILIPPINES—Canada’s squeaky clean reputation is getting trashed overseas. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte has demanded that Canada remove its trash from his country or face the threat of war. More than…
Science Unwelcome in Alberta, Declare Yellow Vests
The yellow vest movement has crossed the pond and the prairies, landing in Alberta. Picking up the mantle laid down in France, some Albertans are rallying to bring attention to…
Angry Orange Volcano Named for Trump
Hawaii—Unstable. Unpredictable. A wispy orange top. It practically named itself. With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have…
PaperSave too complex for public servants
Imagine you had an employee that consistently misfiled papers. Instead of the right-hand cabinet, they used the left. Concerned, you placed prominent signs on each cabinet to specify “Papers here”…
White Trash rebellion in wake of Walmart decision to charge for plastic bags
Beginning February 9, Walmart customers noticed a 5 cent per bag fee added to their “low, low prices” and many are not happy. “I am not happy,” Leona Jennings complained.…
Keurig responds to environmental complaints with new machine
VERMONT—Keurig Green Mountain, the company that invented the “single serving delivery mechanism for an addictive substance”* will soon convey caffeine in a new form. Get ready to ask for coffee,…
Volkswagen – Das Autocrat
GERMANY—A group of auto engineers working for Volkswagen may be too smart for its own good. A device built in 2014 won them an innovation award from Ingenieur Beste Deutsche…
Don’t go chasing waterfails
NEW YORK—Tom Selleck was recently accused of stealing water in California. And in a case of art imitating life, an upcoming Blue Bloods episode will feature a purported water thief.