CANADA—The new wave of plant-based meat is not everyone’s cup of chili. Across the nation, diners are demanding a return to meat-based meat. “I was at a barbeque last weekend and the host gave me this hamburger,” said Anna-Lisa Strovinski… Continue Reading
PHILIPPINES—Canada’s squeaky clean reputation is getting trashed overseas. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte has demanded that Canada remove its trash from his country or face the threat of war. More than 100 shipping containers full of Canadian waste, including used diapers,… Continue Reading
The yellow vest movement has crossed the pond and the prairies, landing in Alberta. Picking up the mantle laid down in France, some Albertans are rallying to bring attention to the struggling oil industry and pipeline delays. Mooseclean’s attended a… Continue Reading
Hawaii—With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have a relentless and all-consuming appetite. Locals have dubbed the monster Lua Pele Trump. “Everyone knows President Trump hates immigrants and… Continue Reading
Imagine you had an employee that consistently misfiled papers. Instead of the right-hand cabinet, they used the left. Concerned, you placed prominent signs on each cabinet to specify “Papers here” and “No papers here,” but still, the employee dumps papers… Continue Reading
Beginning February 9, Walmart customers noticed a 5 cent per bag fee added to their “low, low prices” and many are not happy. “I am not happy,” Leona Jennings complained. “I depended on those free bags for packing my kids’ lunches,… Continue Reading
VERMONT—Keurig Green Mountain, the company that invented the “single serving delivery mechanism for an addictive substance”* will soon convey caffeine in a new form. Get ready to ask for coffee, tea or soda.
GERMANY—A group of auto engineers working for Volkswagen may be too smart for its own good. A device built in 2014 won them an innovation award from Ingenieur Beste Deutsche (IBD). However, U.S. and Canadian governments feel the breakthrough is more suited to legal action.
NEW YORK—Tom Selleck was recently accused of stealing water in California. And in a case of art imitating life, an upcoming Blue Bloods episode will feature a purported water thief.
LOCAL—An area man who recently lost his job has survived starvation by eating a variety of things picked from his backyard, neighbours report.
Nathan Moller, former Chef of recently-closed restaurant Poncey & Git’s, had been unable to secure new employment at a similar, highbrow establishment. Locals became concerned when they learned that his refrigerator, cupboards and freezer had been depleted of stores.
“When I didn’t see him come by for three weeks, I feared the worst,” said Hollis N. Davis, an area supermarket manager.