Photo: Robert Banh, flickr.

LOCAL—The modern-day office serves many purposes: workplace, social experiment, trolling zone for a future partner…and a dumping ground for unwanted food.  When it’s too much to give to the dog, why not take your leftovers to work?

“My wife made three pans of lasagna for a family get-together on the weekend, and we only ate two-and-a-half,” said Honda salesman Joey Ruff.  “I told her I didn’t want to eat it again for dinner tonight, so she sent the pasta with me this morning.  All it took was a quick email to the repair shop and the food was gone from the break room before lunch.”

Canadians across the country are finding relief from over-stocked refrigerators and unwanted foodstuffs by enlisting the help of heedless colleagues.

“Last week, Jim brought in homemade pierogies!” said delighted co-worker Peggy Hugh.  “How generous of him to think his officemates would enjoy such a special treat.” Human Resource Manager Jim Estes later revealed to a friend that he just wanted to get rid of the food before it spoiled. Estes was pleasantly surprised to be hailed as a hero.

Workplace food dumping has become so common, many workers now expect a free buffet.  “If I’m ever hungry, my first stop is the kitchen area,” explained call center employee Travis Guide.  “More often than not, there’s a plate of something left out on the counter.  I haven’t had to buy lunch for two weeks.”

Gone are the days when a generous workmate made cookies for the office out of the goodness of their heart.  Now, treats are proffered as an exercise in self-defense.

“My daughter’s birthday was this week and we had over a dozen extra cupcakes from the party,” said insurance adjuster Tom Fife.  “My wife told me to get them out of the house before we ate them all, so I brought them here.”  Mouthfuls of frosting prevented Fife’s co-workers from debating whether a self-serving cupcake tastes as sweet.

By Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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