Canada is a Food Dessert in the Cookie Peddling Game
CANADA—The Girl Guides in Canada have been selling cookies since 1927. South of the border, Girl Scouts started selling cookies in 1917. How has this 10-year gap become a commercial…
Diners Demand a Return to Meat-Based Meat
CANADA—The new wave of plant-based meat is not everyone’s cup of chili. Across the nation, diners are demanding a return to meat-based meat. “I was at a barbeque last weekend…
Starbucks to Rename Blonde Vanilla Latte Ahead of Racial Bias Training
Starbucks will close more than eight thousand US stores Sunday afternoon for anti-bias training. This forum is in response to the incident in Philadelphia that saw two black men arrested…
Taco Bell eliminates middleman by serving alcohol
CANADA—Taco Bell and alcohol go hand-in-hand. Now the fast food giant is condensing a two-step process into one-stop shopping. “Beginning in June, Taco Bell will be serving beer at select…
Man makes historic decision… votes Hawaiian over Pepperoni
WASHINGTON—Earlier today, 20 year old Jeff Ranson expressed his desire for real change by voting for Hawaiian pizza over Pepperoni. “Some say voting doesn’t matter,” admitted Jeff. “But people in Syria…
Coffee houses burn in java gangland
OTTAWA—A bitter turf war between two rival upstarts and the industry powerhouses has seemingly resulted in another java joint burned to the ground.
Prawn captures pawn in mall checkmate
WEST VANCOUVER—Park Royal Shopping Centre has launched a counter-attack on some of its regulars. The mall recently banned chess players from using space meant for food court patrons. “Not since…
New Putin-inspired fragrances will smell like food, sports
The creator of “Leaders Number One”, a fragrance inspired by Vladimir Putin, has announced that additional scents inspired by the Russian president are already under development.
McDonald’s not lovin’ having it Burger King’s way
U.S.—In an effort to raise funds for peace, Burger King invited McDonald’s to combine forces and create the ultimate hybrid burger. McDonald’s is not lovin’ it.
Coca-Cola corporation sued for name discrimination
Documents filed in Supreme Court today, reveal that the Coca-Cola Corporation is being sued in civil division for an unprecedented one hundred million dollars. The Statement of Claim reveals that…