WADEBRIDGE, CORNWALL, ENGLAND — Andrew Ridgeley, the often overlooked half of the iconic 1980s pop duo Wham!, is hitting the road solo in a bold bid to remind the world that George Michael wasn’t the only one in those tight white shorts. Ridgeley’s “Legacy of Wham!” tour kicks off next month, promising a nostalgic trip down memory lane, with a side of mild confusion.

“I just want people to remember I was in the band,” Ridgeley said at a press conference held in his garage, where he unveiled the tour poster featuring himself in a denim jacket, sporting a wistful expression. “I’m ready to step out of George’s shadow and into… well, the stage lights, I guess.”

The tour, which will hit mid-sized venues in cities like Saskatoon, Boise, and Des Moines, features Ridgeley performing Wham!’s greatest hits, albeit with slightly altered lyrics to reflect his own contributions. “It’s like karaoke, but with more existential reflection,” Ridgeley explained.

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” will now include a special spoken-word segment where Ridgeley recounts the time he almost sang lead vocals. “It’s a story that needs to be told,” he insists.

Reaction from fans has been mixed. Music critics are equally bemused. “It’s an interesting concept,” said Rolling Stone’s senior editor, Mark Hemmings. “I mean, it’s not every day a middling guitarist and backup singer from the ’80s decides to headline a tour. It’s either very brave or very… something.”

Ridgeley, undeterred, has hinted at special guest appearances, though he declined to specify who might join him on stage. “Maybe Pepsi and Shirlie will swing by,” he said with a hopeful grin, referring to Wham!’s backup singers. “Or my neighbor Dave – he’s got a mean air guitar.”

The “Legacy of Wham!” tour also promises exclusive merchandise, including “I Remember Andrew” T-shirts and Ridgeley’s own line of hair mousse, dubbed “Edge of Heaven.”

Despite the odds, Ridgeley remains optimistic. “This tour isn’t just about me,” he declared, eyes glistening with fervour. “It’s about celebrating Wham! and all the joy we brought to the world. And if a few people finally recognize me in the supermarket next year, well, that’s a bonus.”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

Leave a Reply