Canada’s top Economics prof admits: “I don’t get it”

William Langille, one of Canada’s top Economics professors at the University of Toronto, has admitted that he doesn’t actually understand our economic system at all.

“I don’t get it,” he admitted, while giving a lecture at an economics conference at U of T.

“I admit it, I’ve been faking it this whole time. I started bullshitting about economics when I was young because I was too lazy to learn the hard sciences and I wanted a boat. Slowly, over time, I just started gaining respect and advancing in my career, and I guess I got addicted to the respect and money that came with the job. Eventually, I bullshitted so much I reached the top of my profession. But really, I’m just a propagandist of money value.”

“I just…make up reasons”

Langille seemed apologetic and full of remorse as he made the admission.

“I’ve been going over the numbers in my spare time for the last 20 years hoping I could figure it out and stop faking my job, but I’ve never really understood how all of this isn’t ridiculous. It wasn’t even that hard to rationalize everything to everyone all the time. I just track money sequences and then make up reasons for why so-and-so should have done this, or why the government did this or that right or wrong.”

Just as confused as everyone

The admission has shocked many Canadians and left them wondering how Langille could have advanced so far in his career if he didn’t actually understand anything that he’s been talking about.

Langille admits he’s also confused about this, and adds “I guess, if you really think about it, why do we even call it our “economy”? “Economize” is a term that’s supposed to refer to preservation, efficiency and the reduction of waste. That’s the exact opposite of what our system actually does. I’m just as confused as everyone else is, people.”

Many amateur economists in Canada are spending more time trying to understand our system, after watching Eddie Lampert destroy the Sears empire in only a few short years using Ayn Rand-style economic policies and other myth-based ideas.

Langille has said his confession was ultimately the result of a necessity to clear his conscience and free his soul.

“The truth is, I’ve wanted to come clean about this for a long time,” Langille said.

“And, well, after seeing Kevin O’Leary say those disgusting things about people living in poverty on T.V. last month with no remorse whatsoever, it made me take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror and say: I never want to be THAT guy. I actually have a soul.”

John Alexander

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