75-year-old woman beats police officer mercilessly after being tasered
OAKVILLE—A police officer is recovering in hospital after a 75-year-old woman he tasered "became super strong" and "laid a beat down on him".
New Age Guru badly beaten in Toronto
New Age guru and best-selling author Irving Lanslinger is recovering in hospital after being badly beaten by several masked men following a seminar he gave in Toronto. Lanslinger was walking back…
New drug promises to help Canadians sleep better at night
A new drug which scientists claim will help millions of Canadians sleep better at night will be hitting the market on Friday. The drug, called Zonoplasmo, is designed to treat Thinkforyourselfitus by…
Scientists prove nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer
After hundreds of independent studies, scientists at the University of Toronto have finally concluded that nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer. The research, led by biologist Dr. Gianni Lucifero, showed…
MMA fight between quantum physicists ends in simultaneous knockouts
The long anticipated MMA match between quantum physicists Dr. Richard Harris and Dr. Alan Hiesenbohr ended in dramatic and confusing fashion last night, with both men simultaneously knocking the other…
Rival protest groups clash on street corner
Violence broke out yesterday among two rival protest groups competing for space at the same intersection of Lakeshore and Trafalgar in Oakville. One group, who had gathered early Wednesday morning to petition…
“We should refocus on creating Artificial Stupidity” says U of T scientist
Gianni Lucifero, a top scientist at the University of Toronto, has written a paper claiming that the way to successfully reproduce human consciousness is by creating what he calls “artificial…
Conservative MPP clarifies statements regarding “ethnic cleansing”
Conservative MPP Robert McGuire held a press conference yesterday, after comments he made to a reporter on live television resulted in public outrage. McGuire, MPP for Haldimand-Norfolk in Southern Ontario,…
Most Canadian guys still can’t beat up their dads, study says
A recent study has concluded that for the first time in modern history, the average Canadian male between the ages of 25 and 40 still can’t beat up his own…
Liberals announce “Green Week” initiative to help the environment
The Liberal Government of Ontario announced Wednesday that it is beginning a new campaign aimed at helping the environment. The campaign is aimed at raising awareness for the need of…