Crack discovered in man’s buttocks

REGINA—A routine traffic stop reaped unexpected bounty after a police officer was compelled to delve down to where few others would dare.

Edbert Hunt, 24, was pulled over for driving unusually slow. When asked to walk in a straight line for a sobriety test, his gait was unsteady and he became irate when prompted to explain his laboured steps.

Tiring of Hunt’s disrespectful conduct, Officer Jeff Lynch briefly lost his temper and asked, “What’s up your butt?” Then, upon reflection, he decided to have a look.

Several bags of cocaine were expelled by the suspect at the scene, with the remaining payload deposited at Regina Police Services Headquarters aided by chemical laxatives. In all, 47 grams of crack was obtained.

Hunt claimed the narcotic wasn’t his and said he was unsure how it had become lodged there. He surmised that it may have been left on the seat by a passenger and slipped into his pants unnoticed as a result of excessive pothole bounces while driving.

Hunt has been charged with possession of crack cocaine, trafficking with the intent to distribute, driving while intoxicated, obstructing and hindering police, and making false statements. His court appearance is scheduled for late next week. The Comedy Network, who paid his bail in return for exclusive development rights, is in negotiations with the suspect over a deal which would see his story expanded into a 30 minute long special.

Sebastian Panache

Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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