Photo: pmarkham, flickr

LOCAL—Carmen Ferris’ Golden Retriever Sally is, by all accounts, the biggest sweetums you’ll ever meet. At age 12-and-a-half she’s the perfect pet, complete in every way – except that she only has three legs.

“It’s a recent change. Still difficult to talk about,” Ferris revealed. “Everyone’s been really understanding about it. Well…nearly everyone.”

Their trouble began when she took Sally for a nail trim at the local pet shop. Ferris alleges that before she was allowed to receive service she was forced to move her minivan out of the handicapped parking space.

“It seemed perfectly reasonable that we should park there,” Ferris explained. “It’s for customers. Do they even know who their customers are? I mean really, I certainly don’t go there for the food and beauty salon treatments.”

Later, while paying for the trim, Ferris naturally expected to receive a 25% discount, and was horrified when she was charged full price.

“Not only is it insensitive, it’s fraudulent,” she claimed. “Why should they charge the full amount for only three-quarters of the work?”

Store manager Michael Woodruff was happy to explain. “It’s nothing personal . . . it’s the standard fee for service. Whether it’s a Chihuahua or a Great Dane, we charge exactly the same. The number of legs on the dog doesn’t even enter into the equation. As for the parking, she needs a permit like everybody else.”

Alleging discrimination, Ferris has launched a lawsuit against the business. “Someone needs to stand up for the rights of those who have difficulty standing up properly by themselves. Someone needs to defend the economic oppression of the underdog,” Ferris proclaimed. “Sally and I are ready to change history.”

Asked about the 10 million dollars in damages she is seeking against the locally-owned mom-and-pop shop, Ferris was clear. “It’s nothing personal . . . it’s the standard award for injustice. Whether it’s a small business or a multi-national corporation, I charge exactly the same.”

One size fits all.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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