Groomers discriminate – overcharge tripawds, woman complains

LOCAL—Carmen Ferris’ Golden Retriever Sally is, by all accounts, the biggest sweetums you’ll ever meet. At age 12-and-a-half she’s the perfect pet, complete in every way – except that she only has three legs.

“It’s a recent change. Still difficult to talk about,” Ferris revealed. “Everyone’s been really understanding about it. Well…nearly everyone.”

Their trouble began when she took Sally for a nail trim at the local pet shop….

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“Dark Knight” Peter MacKay to patrol red light districts

Federal Minister of Justice and Attorney General Peter MacKay, angered that New Brunswick is dropping current prosecutions of prostitutes and Johns, is taking matters into his own hands.

“I will be personally cleaning the Johns out of Saint John and apprehending any strumpets I see roaming the streets by citizen’s arrest,” the Minister said Wednesday.

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Syria legalizes marijuana

In adopting Uruguay’s new model of regulating the legal sale of recreational marijuana, the Middle Eastern nation of Syria has passed a bill which will allow the legal sale of the drug throughout the country.

“Not only will this add vibrancy to our unique tourism industry, but the legalization of cannabis will liberate our people against the arbitrary restriction against one of our God’s earthly creations,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

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