BRANDON, Manitoba—Talk about an indecent act: thieves have stolen a semi-trailer full of intimate undergarments from a roadside diner in southwestern Manitoba.

“Law enforcement is a constant evolution in understanding, and this case is no exception,” said Chief Adam Grant, Brandon Police Service. “Do you know how many bras you can cram into a rig that size? I sure didn’t.”

The shipment, destined for the distribution centres of a major Canadian women’s lingerie chain, has an estimated loss “in the millions” (Canadian dollars).

Canadians are advised to be vigilant, but not panic. The lingerie chain reports that it still has a “global strategic reserve” of intimate apparel, and no shortages are anticipated.

For now, if anyone has tried to sell you panties out of the hatchback of their minivan, Police are asking that you report it immediately.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

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