Steve Lamonte would like to make it clear that he has no idea what to do with your baby’s stats and would appreciate it if you just kept it to yourself.

“I just don’t get what I’m supposed to do or say with this information. So, little Sherry was born 7lb 3oz and 18.5in, is that good?! Bad?! Should I congratulate the parents or be horrified? WTF IS GOING ON?”

Steve is boldly stepping out and being the voice for all single men and women who could care less about the math involved with your childbirth.

“Look, all you have to do is compare your baby to something practical so that we can all understand, like ‘Sherry was born about the size of a MacBook Air, and weighed 1 cantaloupe’.”

When we brought up the subject of ultrasound photos on Facebook, Mr. Lamonte swiftly put his head through the wall and left.

By Jay Milley

Lives in Toronto. Rugged indoorsman. Great with power cords. Follow on Twitter @jaymilley

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