Don’t cry, Psy, but a new dance sensation is sweeping the nation.

“I think it’s an inevitable result of the evolution of the Hipster subculture,” explains Paul E. Miles, Professor of Sociology at Memorial University of Newfoundland. “I mean, they’ve pulled everything else out of the vintage bin at this point. This is an improvement in that it at least hearkens back to our own heritage.”

His colleague Mary Emory, instructor in Human Kinetics and Recreation, agrees. “I must confess, I shook my head when I saw legions of people doing the horse dance. While still very surprising, this seems comparatively less stupid.”

Salvation Army stores are reporting a national shortage of check plaid shirts, waist scarves, and suspenders, as young people try to capture the classic look. Some regional markets have also embraced dungarees. Accordion sales are also rising sharply after three decades of steady decline, despite the enduring charm of “Weird Al” Yankovic.

Not everyone is focused on the fashion and recreational aspects of the Log Driver’s Waltz, however. Health and enviromental benefits may also be on the horizon.

“I’d like to see the expansion of the Canadian driver’s licensing system to include log driving,” said Valiant Bernier of Piedmont, Quebec. “A graduated system, of course: surfing a spinning trunk is freaky-dangerous but if we’re really keen on the reduction of fossil fuels, it makes sense to go back to driving logs in the traditional manner. Couldn’t harm the state of physical fitness in the transportation and logistics industry either. Have you seen the truckers nowadays?”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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