Quantum physicists agree to settle dispute with MMA fight


Photo: fightlaunch, flickr. 

Interpretations of the infamous double-slit experiment in quantum mechanics have polarized scientists for decades. Now, two prominent pioneers in the world of quantum mechanics, Dr. Alan Heisenbohr and Dr. Richard Harris, have agreed to settle the argument once and for all in a mixed marital arts bout, the result of which will be respected by the rest of the scientific community.

Heisenbohr believes that the results of the double-slit experiment, along with the recent results of several delayed choice quantum erasure experiments, invalidate materialism and prove that there is no objective reality separate from consciousness. Harris by contrast, believes that the universe is fundamentally material and that despite what the recent experiments seem to reveal about reality, physical reality exists independent of the mind.

The outcome of this fight has tremendous implications for the philosophical schools of realism and idealism; many academics are anxious for the dispute to be settled once and for all.

“I’m not focusing on any spiritual aspects of myself as I prepare for this fight, since there’s no such thing as a spirit anyway” Harris said during a recent press conference. “I’m going to focus on science and what it can do for my body via nutritional biology and exercise science” he added.

Heisenbohr says he prefers a different style of training.

“Neither of us really have any muscle mass so I’m not too worried about the physical threat he brings to the table. I’m more concerned with training my mind so I can harness my inner spirit when the match begins” he said. “Winning takes place in the mind before it manifests into the material world” he added.

Experts say that regardless of the outcome, the fight is sure to be a crowd-pleaser.

“Science is perhaps the only domain where people have egos bigger than professional athletes or politicians. When their belief system is challenged, they can get extremely aggressive” said fight promoter Irving Lanslinger.

John Alexander

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