TIMMINS, Ontario — In a small but proud moment for the local literary scene, Timmins resident Brian Patterson has published a coffee table book that has garnered both curiosity and amusement. Titled “Dishwasher Zen: The Art and Science of Loading Perfection,” the book offers a detailed visual guide to Patterson’s meticulously developed dishwasher loading technique.
Patterson, a 45-year-old accountant, says the idea for the book came to him after years of frustration watching family and friends “haphazardly throw dishes into the machine without any rhyme or reason.” “It was chaos,” he said in an interview. “Plates facing every which way, cups stacked precariously—something had to be done.”
The 150-page tome features high-resolution photographs, step-by-step diagrams, and thoughtful commentary on everything from the optimal placement of bowls to the controversial issue of silverware orientation. “It’s about finding balance and harmony,” Patterson explained. “Every dish has its place, and when everything is correctly positioned, it’s like a symphony of cleanliness.”
The book’s chapters are organized by dish type, with sections like “Plates: The Foundation,” “Cups and Glasses: Elevating the Essentials,” and “Silverware: Order Amongst the Chaos.” Each chapter not only provides practical advice but also delves into the philosophical aspects of dishwasher loading. “It’s not just about cleaning dishes,” Patterson said. “It’s about achieving a state of dishwasher nirvana.”
While some might question the need for such a book, Patterson’s work has surprisingly found a niche audience. “It’s fascinating,” said local librarian Karen Thompson. “I never knew there were so many ways to load a dishwasher. Brian’s book has definitely sparked some lively debates during our book club meetings.”
Local bookstore owner, Daniel Murphy, has also noted a spike in interest. “We sold out our initial stock in just a week,” Murphy said. “People are intrigued, if not a little amused, by the concept. But they come back and tell me that they’ve genuinely improved their dishwasher loading skills.”
Not everyone is a fan, however. Patterson’s wife, Emily, has mixed feelings about the project. “Brian takes it very seriously,” she said with a laugh. “I appreciate his passion, but sometimes I just want to load the dishwasher without a lecture.”
Patterson remains undeterred by any skepticism. He hopes his book will inspire others to find beauty and efficiency in their daily routines. “If I can make one person’s life a little easier and their dishes a little cleaner, then it’s all been worth it,” he said.
As for future projects, Patterson is already contemplating his next book. “I’m thinking about tackling laundry folding techniques,” he revealed. “There’s a lot of untapped potential there.”