The young couple in happier times. Photo: (flickr) CC BY 2.0. Watermark removed.

It’s the eve of his one month anniversary and Osvaldo Graham is digging through the bargain bin at the local big box store at the behest of his wannabe fiancée, Elaine Shaw.

“She loves scrapbooking so she sent me here to buy three or four albums that she hopes to fill with memories about ‘us’,” he sighed. “I should really be at the arts and crafts store getting the voodoo doll supplies she’ll be wishing for when I finally break the news that I’m leaving.”

Shaw, a successful Realtor, cannot say enough about their whirlwind romance. “He’s everything I hoped for in a life partner,” she gushed. “A definite keeper.”

Graham tells a different tale.

“She’s got great tits and I’d had one too many to drink that night,” he recalled. “I’m never doing flaming Sambuca shooters again. I don’t care how cheap the damned special is.”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

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