RHODE ISLAND, U.S.A.—Hasbro’s Gaming Division has introduced the latest Monopoly edition in recognition of the 45th President of the United States.  “What better way to honor President Trump than with a game that celebrates money, real estate and crushing your opponents?” declared Hasbro spokesperson, Brent Shutter. “I think players will appreciate the subtle tweaks we’ve made to the game to reflect this administration.”

New tokens include a Twitter bird, hands, the Russian flag and Bill and Hillary Clinton pieces that can be used together or pitted against each other.  “If a player with the token woman, I mean the Hillary token, draws a Housewife chance card,” said Shutter, “the player is sent back to the 1950s space. For the remainder of the game, they will only earn half of what the other players earn when they pass GO.  Pairing Hillary with Bill is the only way to protect a player against this draw.”

The game board has also been amended.  If a player lands on Women’s Walk, they’ll be sent back four spaces.  Landing on Fake News allows a player to advance four spaces, while landing on Alternative Facts means a player can switch places with any other token in play.  Income tax and luxury tax squares have been omitted.

“As a fun tip of the hat to the President, we’ve named all properties after Trump Hotels,” said Shutter.  “Except for the Uterus property.  That one’s for sale to the highest bidder.”

While the overarching rules remain the same, perhaps the biggest change is what happens when a player goes bankrupt.  This no longer means they are out of the game, but instead means they get to start over with a fresh bankroll.

By Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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