PM to rename Red River to Blue River

Conservative truth-telling to begin with geography

Photo: Heather (flickr). 

WINNIPEG, Manitoba—Prime Minister Stephen Harper was in Winnipeg yesterday to announce the renaming of the Red River. The change is expected to take effect in the spring of 2015.

“In my government’s ongoing and successful efforts to remain transparent and truthful with Canadians, we believe the time has come that we must acknowledge the inaccuracy in which the river has been named. It is not, nor has it ever, been red,” Harper said.

When a journalist pointed out that elections were coming up in the fall of 2015 and asked if the decision had anything to do with the fact that red is the official colour of the Liberal Party of Canada, Harper responded: “My government has tremendous respect for the ecological integrity of Canadian waterways, and as such, we believe the river deserves a name that reflects its true nature. To believe that the government’s decision is otherwise motivated would be ill-advised.”

The Red River, affectionately referred to as simply “the Red” by Manitobans, forms at the border between North Dakota and Minnesota, in the United States of America, flowing north to Manitoba into Lake Winnipeg. Initially, only the Canadian portion of the river will be renamed, but Harper said he intends to suggest the United States do the same when he meets with President Barack Obama later this year.

Rick Nichols

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