Rob Ford has Hollywood career to fall back on

illustration by finklebottom

The answer to why Mayor Rob Ford has been spending time recently in California instead of focusing on Toronto has been revealed, as Disney announced Monday that Ford is being seriously considered for the role of Jabba the Hutt’s offspring in the new Star Wars franchise.

J.J. Abrams says if he gets his way, he will cast Ford in the role of Gumba the Hutt, the fatter and more grotesque spawn of Jabba the Hutt from the original Star Wars franchise.

According to market research, Star Wars fans are responding positively to the idea of Ford being cast as a Hutt. “The resemblance is uncanny. With just a slight touch of CGI he’ll look just like a Hutt” said Markus, a life-long Star Wars fanatic.

“The appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show was really a test to see how marketable he is right now” admitted Ford’s agent, Kevin Mackelmoreal.

“He’s obviously a natural actor. Did you see how he said ‘I’m just a normal, hard-working regular person’? The guy has a net worth of $50 million, and he could still say that with a straight face,” he added.

Ford said at a press conference Mar. 18 that he believes he can make more money in Hollywood and his crack habit would be less controversial there, but adds he is also very cautious of moving up to that level.

“Trust me, people care waaaayyyy more about Star Wars than they do about politics. This isn’t like being Mayor of Toronto at all. If I screw up with Star Wars, there will be real consequences,” he said.

John Alexander

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