Mayor Rob Ford refuses to add canoe lanes to Toronto roads
with illustration & reporting by finklebottom TORONTO—If the aftermath of Monday's flood in Toronto, where a month's worth of rain fell on the city within a few hours, environmentalists and…
Whale swims through downtown London
LONDON, England—Onlookers were puzzled Friday when a whale swam up the River Thames, eventually running aground near Parliament. Experts on the scene identified it as a Northern bottlenose. “Frankly, I…
Veganism as environmentally harmful as meat production, scientists prove
KEMPTVILLE, Ontario—Farting and belching by vegans is a key contributor to global warming problems, extinction of earth species, and a worldwide suicide epidemic involving Angus Beef cattle suffering from feelings…
Nut shortages, clearcutting causing unrest: squirrel race war imminent
VANCOUVER—The clear-cutting of vast numbers of oaks and other trees for the manufacture of beverage coasters, gear shift knobs, gourmet toothpicks, and other products vital to the stability of the…