Photo: TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design

Citing “creative differences” as the reason for termination, Katie Morgan has been released as the official photographer for TED Talks presentations.

Due to “distressing similarities” between each of the 143 photos published under Morgan’s name, a new photographer is in the process of being hired.

“Morgan maintained employment with this non-profit group for years past her ‘expiry date,'” said Natalie Alva, Creative Director for TED Talks, “but she was able to prolong her position with a nearly-endless succession of complaints to the U.S. Department of Labor. None of her complaints were ever substantiated by the Department, however.”

Morgan’s latest complaint to the Department of Labor is for her “unduly” layoff.

In confidential documents Mooseclean’s was able to obtain by browsing through the Department of Labor’s recycling bin, Morgan claimed that “They can’t fire me just because we have differing creative philosophies.”

“I did more than what they wanted – I captured each speaker in a self-righteous pose while they were rubbing an invisible cube, and I always made sure to get the microphone that clips onto their face in the shot,” her claim reads. “And to show the action of talking, I always snapped the speakers with their mouths open.”

However, she did admit that some of her pictures occasionally portrayed the speaker as rubbing an invisible sphere rather than a cube.

Alva disagreed, claiming that TED speakers look like “morons” in most of Morgan’s photos, adding that the presenters would frequently complain about TED’s “hack” photographer.

“We want our speakers to look smarter than our potential audience – how are we supposed to make click-bait with photos of people looking like robots?”

The advertisement for Morgan’s old job specifies that competitive applicants should possess multiple strengths: the ability to capture subjects in more than one pose, an ambition to learn new techniques, and a demonstrated diversity in their portfolio of work. It indicates that a new direction is being taken by TED after years of repetitious imagery, admitting that “[TED has] been duped in the past.”

“The job posting was meant to be a jab at me,” Morgan wrote, in another follow-up complaint to the Department of Labor.

Defending the ad, Alva said: “It goes without saying that employers aren’t looking for one hundred minor variations of the same pose. This isn’t picture day at high school.”

By Dan Walton

Between Draxel's apartment, a supervised injection site, and the free Internet here at the library, I get a lot done every week. Just today I clipped my nails and brushed my teeth. And I can run really fast even though I only eat once each day. When I lived with my parents, I would make Kool-aid, and I put a lot more sugar in the pitcher than the package called for. That was then. Now I can't even think about drinking it because I don't have sugar or a pitcher. And where am I gonna get enough water to make a whole jug of Kool-aid? Plus if I did make Kool-aid, who's gonna let me keep it in their fridge?

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