The Johnson Scholarship Foundation allowed Jeffrey Hewitt, a 19-year-old former student at the University of Western Ontario, to conclude his studies prematurely without any debt. After missing three mid-term exams because of a hangover, the week after he scratched his… Continue Reading
After convincing a pretty woman he met at the Penguin and Firckin Pub to spend the night at his place, 29-year-old Mark Bayston was unsuccessful in penetrating her reproductive organs with a chemically-induced flaccid penis.
High-end Toronto homeowners are about to have a convicted terrorist as a neighbour.
Omar Khadr, who killed a US soldier at the age of 15 during the war in Afghanistan, has put a downpayment on 141 Bridle Path.
The sudden end to the Sun News Network, more commonly referred to as Fox North, has prompted an outbreak of Mad Cow Disease at an Alberta farm.
To avoid the ramifications of a nuclear holocaust, severe global warming, or any other world-wide catastrophe – human consciousness will be conceived into computer circuits by the year 2100, Prime Minister Stephen Harper told the United Nations yesterday.
Renowned Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield has been accused of consuming more than his share of mind-altering drugs aboard the International Space Station [ISS].
Target Canada’s ship is sinking and although a few captains went down too, Operation Barbarossa 2 has nearly reached its objective.
Documents were leaked to the Mooseclean’s offices which lay out Target Corp’s master business plan north of the border.
As a pre-emptive measure to ease tensions with Mennonite colonies living in rural Manitoba, the People’s Republic of North Korea (PKR) has indefinitely postponed the release of 순종 여성 목장 손, which translates into “Obedient Female Ranch Hand.”
As the Government of Canada continues modernizing throughout the 21st century, the definition for a household income below $30,000 has evolved from “low-income” into “peasant.”
During a press conference at an aging apartment complex in Scarborough, Joe Oliver, Minister of Finance, said that, “It’s time to call a spade a spade.”
After losing her wallet, Alisha Kaplan—as she was formerly known—is no longer a citizen of Canada.