Trudeau to personally oversee heroin injection sites

Justin Trudeau announced his intention to open more supervised injection sites across Canada earlier last month to encourage and support heroin addicts to keep using the highly addictive, illegal and life-destroying drug.

“It’s a dream of mine to have supervised injection sites in every school, church and community centre across this great country,” the Liberal leader said. “As an added bonus, I will oversee the opening of every site across this great nation and will personally inject every man, woman or child that walks through the front doors on their opening day.”

New Liberal party member, convicted murdered and heroin user Jason Wriggles was thrilled with Trudeau’s decision. “I shouldn’t have to pay for heroin, that’s why I killed a guy,” he said from his maximum security prison cell. “I’ll vote for anybody that will give me free smack. Heck, I’ll slit the throat of anybody that votes against it.”

It’s not clear how the Liberal party would pay for broad access to the controversial program. Liberal insiders have floated several funding options including heavy taxes on the middle class or a financial levy against anyone who voted for the Conservative party.

Trudeau insisted that using illicit narcotics is a legal right in Canada, “It’s every Canadian’s right to use drugs as indicated by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.” When asked, Justin Trudeau was unable to indicate exactly where in the document that access to illegal drugs could be found. It remains unclear if Trudeau has actually read the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Brian

There can only be one. #ModernGinger

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