Little Tweak on the Prairie
CANADA—More than a thousand Canadians died in the first quarter of 2018, thanks to the opioid crisis. Now, addicts are turning their backs on a drug that was either a…
Prince Harry declares Trudeau “Ultimate Wingman”
TORONTO—Prince Harry was in Toronto on Monday to launch pet project Invictus Games, which will take place in the city next year. The trip, however, was not all business.
Pot to stay on the streets illegally ahead of proposed new regulations
Despite a recent warning from Canada’s toke-friendly prime minister that marijuana will continue to be illegal in this country until a strong regulatory framework is created, pot users and dealers…
Bad mix of drugs costs man his boner
After convincing a pretty woman he met at the Penguin and Firckin Pub to spend the night at his place, 29-year-old Mark Bayston was unsuccessful in penetrating her reproductive organs…
Trudeau to personally oversee heroin injection sites
Justin Trudeau announced his intention to open more supervised injection sites across Canada earlier last month to encourage and support heroin addicts to keep using the highly addictive, illegal and…
Police make drug bust while searching for pedophile
OAKVILLE—A search for a black SUV connected with a ring of pedophiles believed to be operating in the Oakville area resulted in an unrelated drug bust early Wednesday morning. Sgt.…
Syria legalizes marijuana
In adopting Uruguay's new model of regulating the legal sale of recreational marijuana, the Middle Eastern nation of Syria has passed a bill which will allow the legal sale of…
Employer rejects resume laced with drug references
LOCAL—Citing several obvious references to illegal street drugs, A Cut Above butcher shop owner Alan Martin chose not to hire applicant Jeff Bothwell as a prep assistant.
A-Rod guilty only of loving baseball
CHICAGO—On Monday, Major League Baseball handed out the longest suspension ever for use of performance enhancing drugs (PED). A 211 game time-out was given to New York Yankee infielder, Alex…
Rob Ford just trying to keep drugs off the street
TORONTO—In an unprecedented turn of events today regarding the alleged Rob Ford crack video, the Toronto Mayor revealed it's all true, stating that he was just doing his civic duty…