Cosby to Enlighten New Generation of Abusers with Speaking Tour
ALABAMA—After escaping sexual assault charges in a trial that resulted in a hung jury, Bill Cosby is ready to educate the masses. “I thought to myself, how can I monetize…
Melania Moves Into the White House on the Condition that Trump Moves Out
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After five months of living apart, the President of the United States and the first lady are now living apart in different places. When elected, Trump claimed he would…
Cat impersonates beer bottle to attract negligent owner’s attention
An area cat who observed a steady decline in affection since aging out of the “cute kitten” phase recently embarked on an innovative new strategy: trying to assume the appearance…
Wynne – Tory Fighting Reminds Us of Our Parents’ Divorce
TORONTO—Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Mayor John Tory claim they want to do what’s best for us, the province of Ontario and the city of Toronto. But their constant…