Coffee houses burn in java gangland

OTTAWA—A bitter turf war between two rival upstarts and the industry powerhouses has seemingly resulted in another java joint burned to the ground.

When Beaver’s Mug Café was torched in Ottawa’s Glebe neighbourbood, suspicions turned on possible challengers in the quest for market domination. Now, Morning Owl on Rochester Street has been hit hard.

“Lots of upscale players in this market. Second Cup, Starbucks, Timothy’s World Coffee… but I find myself wondering about Tim Hortons or even McDonalds, and the others who want to ascend to the throne,” Kathleen Hodges, a local coffee analyst, speculated. “Is it the big rollers torching the little guys? Or the young punks trying to pull each other down?”

Fat, overpaid public servants at the Natural Resources Canada building at 580 Booth Street expressed shock and disappointment at the news; particularly at the suggestion that they may have to use the Timmy Ho in their lobby until Morning Owl can be restored.

Ottawa Police determined that arson was the cause of the Glebe fire, but no-one was arrested for the crime. Now, with another coffee shop turned to dark roast, investigators have another chance to uncover the truth, and stave the mounting conflict in java central.

UPDATE: Earlier eyewitness accounts were determined to be slightly inaccurate. Fire damage was limited to some minor scorch marks on a trash bin, caused by local vagrants trying to keep warm in chilly autumn weather.

Sebastian Panache

Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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